Psychology enters the ED
by LetAnOwlIn
Summary: Dr Alyssa Winters is nervous about starting at Holby. She was hired following a proposal that the ED take part in a national 'test run' for multi-disciplinary EDs. Which is how a young Psychologist finds herself proving to her colleagues that Mental Health is just as important in an ED as Physical. Complicating this are her growing feelings for Dylan Keogh.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Why did it have to rain? Today, of all days? It was the early hours of the morning, and the sun was beginning to rise over the river. Alyssa had woken at 4.30am, had a shower, washed her hair. As she did every morning. And like every other morning, she had decided to go for a run, through the wooded path that snaked along the river. It was a gorgeous run, full of nature, and it was Alyssa's way of destressing and waking up, to begin a new day. However, today, unlike every other day, was the beginning of her new job. She sighed as she ran, music pounding in her ears. Would he be there today? She scowled to herself, and ran a few meters more, before stopping to lean against a very wet tree. She was reluctant to admit to herself the reason why she chose this _particular_ route along the river. The river had several sets of moorings, and it was common for her to see random boats and barges tied up, the residents having stopped over for the night. One morning, however, a new boat had arrived, and hadn't left. That had been over a month ago.

Alyssa wiped her brow; rain and sweat were dripping down her face. "Thank God my makeup is waterproof" she thought to herself. She never had enough time to get ready when she got home from her runs, and she would often get changed when she got to work. Today she had allowed herself half an hour to freshen up at home before making the journey to her new job, however, she had not bargained on the unexpected rain fall. She fiddled with the wires of her headphones. She was nervous about today. It had been her idea, it had taken a lot of persuasion to get the Trust Board to accept her proposal. She had to make a good first impression. She just had to.

Taking a deep breath, Alyssa carried on running. After a few more minutes, she slowed. Placing one hand to brace herself against a tree, she pretended to look at her shoe laces, to make sure they were tied, whilst also looking sneakily out at the river. Sure enough, there he was, standing on his boat, watching the early morning sun rise. She blushed and leaned against the tree. She couldn't understand her attraction to this man she had never met or spoken to. She didn't even know if he noticed her, running past his home every day. He turned towards the trees, and Alyssa hastily fixed her gaze on the river, turning slowly gold in the light. It _was_ very beautiful. She smiled to herself, and prepared to run home, like every other day, casual spying over with.

But today was not like every other day.

As Alyssa pushed off from the tree, the man looked directly at her, and half-smiled. Her heart thumped with a wildness that had nothing to do with the run, and for a moment she was stunned. Without thinking of the treacherous slope down to the river, without remembering that the ground was slick with rain, Alyssa took a step forward, to wave. Her foot slid out from under her, and she heard a shout from the direction of the river. She landed hard on her side, and she felt her breath leave her body. She bumped down the hill, and she felt a stab of fear – the slope ran right to the edge of the river. She flung out an arm, trying to catch hold of anything that she could use to stop herself. She was vaguely aware of the man, disembarking his boat, coming towards her.

The stump of a tree appeared out of nowhere, breaking her fall, and possibly one of her ribs. She crashed into it and felt a sharp crack in her side. She screamed out in pain. Just breathing felt like a thousand white-hot needles were stabbing her. She tried to stand, but her leg refused to co-operate. She went down again, this time hitting her head. Hard.

The last thing Alyssa remembered was a voice. Shouting, telling her to stay awake. The pain in her side intensified and shoved her further towards the inky black that had enveloped her eyesight. One last breath in, and she surrendered to sleep.

Alyssa meandered in and out of consciousness the whole journey back to the hospital. The man had obviously called an ambulance, as she had first woken to a haze of green above her, beeping, and the sensation of moving. She had tried to sit up, but she had been horrified to discover that they had strapped her in. Her wounds weren't _that_ bad. Every bump in the road caused new waves of nausea and blackness to wash over her, and eventually she had given up trying to stay awake.

At the hospital, she was vaguely aware of the paramedics stating her vital signs, her approximate age, to the doctor who had been waiting. Alyssa briefly saw the words Holby Emergency Department, and she had scolded herself internally. What a day to end up in A&E! The paramedics swiftly wheeled her into a large room, after the doctor called "Straight into Resus, please!". She tried to tell them this really wasn't necessary, all she needed was an x-ray to confirm her broken ribs, some pain medication and then she could leave. No one bothered to listen to her.

"Right, let's order a head CT and some bloods please. If someone could also call x-ray…" The voice faded slightly as it moved away from her. "On my 3, please, 1, 2, 3!". Her body shifted, and the board under her disappeared. The sudden movement jarred her side, and she grunted in pain. Someone also removed the brace around her neck. "Okay, keep very still for me okay? My name is Dr Hardy, I'm just going to check you over." Alyssa raised her head slightly, to look at the doctor unzipping her hoodie. He was young, and blonde, and very handsome. She winced as his hands gently probed her side, and he smiled apologetically. She decided she liked him. "Is this going to take long, Doctor? I have an appointment that I really need to get to…" He looked over at her and smiled again. "I'm fairly certain you will be here for at least a few hours yet, I'm afraid. We need to run some tests, make sure you're all okay before I discharge you. I need to get your head seen to as well." Alyssa grinned at him. "Why, because I went for a run on a Monday morning at a ridiculously early time, in the rain?" Dr Hardy laughed, and grinned back at her. "Well, that _is_ rather mad!"

The light banter was interrupted by the large doors swinging open. Alyssa immediately wished she was not hooked up to a heart monitor. The cute doctor looked at the screen in concern as her heart rate shot up. The man from the boat had just walked into the room, and he did not look happy. "Where is her neck brace? She can't have had her CT already. Is she stable? Did Iain tell you she lost consciousness several times?" His voice was rough, and deep. A perfect fit for the rough, almost haggard face. For a moment, she was glad she was lying down; no one could see her blush. "Dr Keogh, she's doing fine. I was just about to send her up for her CT, but there really doesn't appear to be any damage. I've ordered an x-ray for her ribs, and I was just finishing off her obs." So, Boat Man was a Doctor? At this ED, no less. Alyssa quietly wished the ground would just swallow her up now. Could this get any worse?

"Dr Hardy, we've got an incoming RTC, and we are a man down. You're needed out here. Dr Keogh, you're here early. Help Dr Monroe clear cubicles. We need the beds. Also, we have someone new starting today, so make sure you're both free to welcome her. Although, saying that, she is late already." The voice sounded abrupt, and annoyed, and very much like the woman who had called her to offer her her new job. Alyssa tried to sit up, to apologise that she would, obviously, not be showing up for work, but the doors were banging shut by the time she managed to twist to sit up. Her side felt like it was on fire, and she whimpered.

"Please, lie back down. You need to stay still until we know how much damage there is." Alyssa raised her eyes, to finally meet the gaze of her saviour. "It would be useful to know your name as well." Dr Hardy was the perfect excuse to pull her eyes away from Dr Keogh. "I'm interested in that myself actually" Dr Keogh's voice became soft, meant only for his own ears. Alyssa blushed deeply. "My name is Alyssa. Alyssa Winters." Talking hurt, and immediately Dr Keogh ordered for her to be given pain relief. "I'm sorry, I have to go check on a few things. I will come back in a little while to check on you, after you've had your CT and X-ray." Dr Hardy smiled kindly at her before walking away, looking back curiously at the other doctor when he made no move to leave. "Dylan? I think Connie meant you, as well." Dylan Keogh. The name suited him. He looked into Alyssa's eyes one last time and walked away. As she was breathing a sigh of relief that she could quietly blush in private, he half-turned towards her. "If you need anything, get a nurse to fetch me." And then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

As expected, Alyssa's CT showed no damage, and her x-ray showed 1 broken rib. The porters originally made to take her back to the room they had called 'Resus', but Alyssa spied a vacant cubicle. "I'm really fine. I don't need to be taking up space in your Resus. A cubicle is fine". A very lovely nurse asked if she wanted to change into a gown, but Dr Hardy returned, stating he would keep her in for observation for an hour, to let the pain medication set in, before discharging her. Alyssa removed her hoodie and settled back on the hospital bed to await her discharge.

Several times, the Clinical Lead walked by, and Alyssa kept trying to get her attention. The woman was obviously annoyed that she had not shown up for her shift and had not made the connection between her new employee, and the woman sat in her cubicles. Alyssa also had not seen Dr Keogh again. The doctors had taken a patient into Resus who had been shouting and screaming, and she assumed everyone was busy dealing with him. She had felt sorry for the man – he clearly had not wanted to be treated. She wondered, had the day gone differently and she arrived for her first shift, if she would have been asked to help the man, calm him down.

As she was busy ruminating about the patient in Resus, it caught her completely off guard when Dr Keogh came up beside her. "How are you feeling?" She jumped at the sound of his gravelly voice and blushed under his scrutiny. She was suddenly very aware that she had removed her hoodie. Underneath, all she was wearing were cropped leggings, and a sports bra, her usual running gear. The Doctor hadn't noticed this, as he was busy looking at her chart. "Only one broken rib? Alright then. Do you mind if I just take a look, make sure there is no significant bruising?" Alyssa nodded silently, and he finally looked at her, and her attire. He swallowed, and bit his lip, but proceeded his examination regardless. His touch was very gentle, and his eyes apologetic whenever she winced. "It's still tender. You'll have some bruising, that can take a few hours to develop. Overall, I'd say you were rather lucky." Alyssa noticed he was very careful to avoid her eyes. "Lucky you were there, you mean." In his surprise, he briefly made eye contact, and she couldn't help but smile. "I mean, if you hadn't of been there, I have no idea what would have happened. I'd probably still be lying there."

As Dr Keogh made a few notes on her chart, she saw the woman again. Now that she had been fully cleared, Alyssa meant to apologise and explain why she had not arrived for her first shift. Her body, however, had other ideas. As she moved to get off the bed, the pain in her side caused her to stumble. Without hesitation, Dr Keogh caught her. "I said you were lucky, not clear to leave. The codeine clearly isn't working. I'll find someone to get you some Morphine." He was deceptively strong, her weight seemingly posing no problem at all as he gently laid her back down. "I will be right back with the morphine. You stay still until I am back. Alright? _Still_." He gave her a stern look, and she nodded solemnly, before smiling. "Thank you, Dr Keogh." He bit his lip again, before disappearing.

A nurse appeared a short time later, with her morphine. She took it without comment, wondering where the doctor had disappeared off to. "Watch yourself, Alyssa. You're going to have to work with this man. Do not let yourself get caught up in this." She silently warned herself. Before this morning, she had had no idea what drew her to running that particular route every day. All she knew was that on those rare days that she did _not_ see him, she was in a weirdly bad mood for the rest of the day. She had wished for some excuse to get closer, to see the details of his face, to hear his voice, to better understand her… attraction. "Be careful what you wish for" she thought to herself. "It'll get easier in time. I'm just feeling stupid because of the medication".

A sudden crash made Alyssa look up. The man from earlier had just burst through the resus doors, scalpel in hand. All thoughts of men immediately vanished from her mind. Several nurses were trying to get close enough to take the scalpel, but the man was having none of it. "Get away from me! I told them I didn't want saving, nobody ever LISTENS, I want it all to be over. GET AWAY!" The last words were a scream, as Dr Hardy made a valiant attempt to sneak up behind the patient. The man was holding the scalpel to his own jugular, hand shaking. If someone didn't calm him down soon, he was going to cut his throat, either accidentally or in a bid to get everyone away.

No hesitation. Alyssa moved off the bed, quickly, and moved further into the ED. She ignored the pain in her side completely. Thankfully, the morphine was starting to kick in, and it had gone down to a throbbing. Unhelpfully, however, the sedative effects were also beginning to kick in. Alyssa had to diffuse this situation, and fast.

"No one ever LISTENS. I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. LIVE. ANYMORE. WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!" His screams were aimed at the well-meaning, but clearly uncertain, nurses. They probably had never dealt with a patient like this before. Thankfully, Alyssa had plenty of experience with this. "I'm listening." She kept her voice low, looking only at the patient. She was vaguely aware of Dr Keogh, immediately at her side. "I told you to stay still. You shouldn't be wandering around in your state…" Alyssa raised a hand to shush him, not looking at him at all. He fell silent, as did the patient. "I am listening to you. I want to listen to you. As do the doctors and nurses here. They want to help you." The patient laughed, a guttural sound that ended in a sob. "Help me? They just want to stick me with their needles, keep me quiet. I'm a failure. Always have been, always will be."

Alyssa raised her arms, to show she had no needles in her hands. To show she wanted to help. The movement caused a sharp jolt of pain in her side, and she winced. Dr Keogh touched her arm tentatively, ready to catch her again if needed. She shrugged him off. "What is going on out here?" The Clinical Lead was back. "What is this patient doing out of bed? Dr Keogh get her back to cubicles." The man never took his eyes from Alyssa. "Please listen to her. I don't want to be responsible for your pain too. I appreciate your help but. I really don't deserve it." Dr Keogh took hold of her arm properly and made to steer her back to bed. Frustrated now, she yanked her arm free and took a step towards the man. The Clinical Lead made to speak again, but Alyssa cut her off. "My name is Alyssa. Alyssa Winters. You are not in any way hurting me. I am a doctor."

Complete silence in the ED. Dr Keogh looked at her in shock. The woman just stared at her, it finally dawning on her that her missing doctor had been sat in cubicles all morning. The man's arm wavered. She was getting through to him. This was a good sign. "Why don't you tell me your name?" Still keeping her voice low, she relaxed her posture. "It's… Daniel. But it won't matter soon because I don't want to live anymore." His grip became defiant again. The nurses and doctors around him glanced between Daniel and Alyssa, waiting to see what would happen. Alyssa fiercely wished her day had started out differently.

"I understand, Daniel. Really, I do. I get how lonely and unbearable it is, when you feel like there is no other option. I bet you have lots of friends, and family, who care. People who would call, and pop round every day when this first started. But you pushed them away, because you just did not know how else to feel, or what else to do, and their visits became fewer and fewer. You pushed them away to protect them, like you are trying to protect them now, but Daniel, I promise you, ending your life will only cause more harm. More pain. It is okay to feel the way you do. But ending your life would not help any of the people you love." Tears welled in Daniel's eyes, and he dropped his arm to his side. "But I don't know what else to do. It will never get better." His arm twitched, as he repeated his own words to himself, getting stronger every time. "it will never get better. IT WILL NEVER EVER GET ANY BETTER!"

Alyssa felt Dr Keogh tense beside her as Daniel went to raise his arm again. "Daniel, it can and does get better. I know you don't feel that way right now, but I can help you. I want to help you. You deserve to let me help you." Alyssa added emphasis on the 'deserve' and watched as Daniel's resolve crumbled. His arm fell, and so did the scalpel. A nurse moved quickly to remove it before Daniel could pick it up again. He began to cry, properly this time, and Alyssa went straight to him. "You're going to be okay. These nurses will take you back to your bed, and they will give you something to help you sleep." Immediately, Daniel's eyes lit up in fear, but Alyssa smiled encouragingly. "It's exhausting, keeping all these feelings inside. You can get some proper sleep, and then we will talk. When you're feeling more rested, and calm. How does that sound?" Alyssa's voice was still low, and very slowly, Daniel nodded. At once, Dr Hardy was there, and swiftly took him back to Resus.

Despite Dr Keogh following and attempting to again take her back to her own cubicle, she followed them into Resus. "You'll feel a small sting, okay, but after that you'll fall into a really deep sleep. I'll get the doctors to let me know when you're awake, and we can talk. Okay?" Daniel smiled up at her, as Dr Hardy administered the drug. "Thank you." He said softly, as he instantly began to tire. She smiled and left the room.

"So, you are my missing doctor? I'm Connie Beauchamp, Clinical Lead for the ED." Alyssa shook her hand and apologised for not explaining sooner. "Oh, that's quite alright. It's perfectly understandable. You did some good work there. I'll admit, I was apprehensive at first, at the proposal from Hansen. But I think you will fit in well here." Connie walked with her, and quickly gathered the staff. "Everyone, this is Dr Winters. She is part of a new initiative to make Emergency Departments more multi-disciplinary and will be acting as our lead on Mental Health whilst she is here. I expect you all to make her feel welcome. Dr Winters take the rest of today to rest up. I will see you tomorrow morning for your first shift." And with that she was gone. The team briefly introduced themselves, before returning to their patients. Alyssa's welcome had taken barely 5 minutes.

"Don't mind them. It's all been a bit of a whirlwind this morning. None of us were expecting our patient to be our new Psychologist." Dr Keogh had followed her back to her cubicle. Carefully avoiding his gaze, she simply nodded. "I'm Dr Keogh. But you already know that." She looked up at him, and he was biting his lip again. Clearly, he had no idea what to say to her. She briefly wondered why he was still stood there, when he probably had other patients to see. "Thank you, Dr Keogh. Again. For everything today. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about my hidden identity!" She smiled, as he passed her hoodie to her. Keeping her eyes low, she pulled it on, and made to leave. As she was walking away, she heard him turn to face her.

"You're welcome, Dr Winters. And please. Call me Dylan."

"Only if you call me Alyssa."

His low chuckle followed her all the way out of the ED.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Do you think one of us should have driven her home? Or called her a taxi, at least?" Dylan asked for the fourth time. Ethan rolled his eyes, and Robyn suppressed a giggle. "I'm sure she got home just _fine_ , Dr Keogh." Elle was tired of hearing it, he could tell. Well, was it his fault that he was concerned? It was his job, after all. "Yes, but she broke _a rib_ , Dr Gardiner." Elle just shook her head and walked away. At that moment, the phone rang. Dylan sighed. He still wasn't entirely sure why he could not get the girl out of his mind. She was just another patient. Well. Not quite.

Earlier that day, Dylan had brought in Dr Alyssa Winters, obviously not knowing who she was at the time. He hadn't know _then_ that the beautiful woman was the ED's newest member of staff. Dylan caught himself. Did he just think of her as _beautiful_? He shook his head. He was sleep deprived. He hadn't slept in several days, and it _had_ been a shock to see her suddenly falling down the hill… yes. That's what it was. A mixture of natural doctor concern, and exhaustion. Satisfied, Dylan turned to leave.

"Dr Hardy? Dr Winters just phoned. She wanted to check in on the patient from earlier. Daniel… something?" Louise's voice made Dylan stop. Alyssa had called? "Did she say if she was alright?" Louise gave a wry smile. "Actually, yes Dr Keogh, she definitely told me, a complete stranger, that she had gotten home safe." Embarrassed, Dylan bit his lip and turned away, to the sound of the others laughing. "At least we know she's dedicated. That's always a good sign." It was no surprise that Robyn would be the first to find something good about the new Psychologist. It was her nature to see the good in everyone. "Right. Yes. Well. I have patients to see to…" As Dylan walked away, he distinctly heard Louise ask Robyn "What's with _him_?" He pretended not to hear.

The rest of the shift passed without further incident. Dylan successfully managed to keep Alyssa off his mind, burying himself in his work as he usually did when something less favourable was on his mind. Or, in this case, something _more_ favourable. Exhausted from such a long day, Dylan went straight to bed when he got home. After feeding Dervla, of course.

That night, Dylan managed to finally get some sleep, and the following morning, he woke in high spirits. He decided to miss his new routine of watching the sunrise, strangely eager to get to work. It wasn't until he got to work that he realised why he wanted to get there so early. Forcing her out of his mind definitely made it more difficult to look at her. As he walked into the ED, the first person Dylan saw was Alyssa, dressed in a form fitting silk blouse, with a just-as-tight skirt and heels. Today, she had decided to wear her hair down, and it fell to the small of her back in soft, honeyed waves. He bit his lip as he tried to figure out how to sneak past her, when she turned to face him. She smiled almost shyly at him, a faint pink in her cheeks. Heart hammering, Dylan quickly ducked through the side door, ignoring her completely.

During the course of the morning, Dylan did his absolute best to avoid Alyssa. Thankfully, she spent her first hour of the day on the mental health ward, seeing her patient from the previous day. Robyn's comment on her dedication reverberated in his mind, as he begrudgingly admired her professionalism. He decided to lose himself in his work again, ignoring a very strange urge to go to the staff room to make a drink. "What do you have for me today?" Dylan studied the patient board whilst Robyn produced several sets of notes. "You're with me in cubicles today. We've been told not to go near the staff room – Dr Winters is doing her mandatory training today." Without thinking, Dylan looked to the open door, and sure enough there she was, golden hair brushed over one shoulder, headphones in her ears. Fighting the urge to go make his drink, and somehow find the words to ask her what she was listening to, Dylan followed Robyn. Since when did he care about music?

Robyn led Dylan to one of the cubicles. There was a young girl inside, with her Father, and a quick look at her chart showed that she was just 14 years old. She seemed anxious, constantly shooting glances at her Father, who in turn kept looking at the clock. "Is this going to take long?" Automatically, Dylan's guard was up. Any parent who wanted to hurry their child out of the ED without them being treated properly usually had something to hide. "Well, that all depends on why you're both here. Can you tell me your name?" The Father made to answer him, but Dylan raised a hand. "It helps us to hear your daughter talk." Blunt. Straight to the point. The Father snapped his mouth closed, and gave a small nod to his daughter, who was staring anxiously at him. "I… I…. My name is Charlotte." Her voice was small, and quiet. His concern increased. "Alright, Charlotte, can you tell me why you're here today?" Robyn went to stand next to her, hand on her arm encouragingly. Dad continued to sigh loudly and look at the clock. Rolling his eyes, Dylan turned his full attention to the girl, who was detailing chest pains and tightness, as well as shortness of breath.

After failing to get a detailed family history of any cardiac problems from Dad, Robyn lured him away with several forms to fill out, to give Dylan some time to talk to the young girl. He was instantly uncomfortable with this – he disliked talking to children. "Right, whilst your Dad is completing those forms, I'd like to listen to your chest, alright?" Dylan moved to place his stethoscope on her chest, but her demeanour changed immediately. She zipped her coat right up to her neck and shrank back against the pillows on the bed. "Can I take some blood from you? To make sure everything is alright?" At this, the girl shook her head vigorously, and pulled her sleeves down even further, covering her entire balled up fists.

Robyn came back with Dad, who asked if he could take his daughter home. "Well, as of yet I haven't been able to examine her to determine the cause of her chest pain, so I will go and find someone else. Maybe a female doctor?" The girl continued to shake her head, and she looked genuinely terrified. Robyn looked at him, and Dylan could sense what she was thinking. Something was not right. "I will be right back." Robyn following him, Dylan walked to the centre of the ED, where there were usually at least 2 doctors gossiping over something trivial and un-work-related. However, to his complete dismay, there was no-one. "Bad time for us to be short-staffed." Robyn remarked. Ethan called for her, and she disappeared off in the direction of Resus, doors banging behind her.

Wondering whether he should speak to Connie and ask if she would see the girl, he automatically walked into the staff room, to make himself a drink. He had completely forgotten Alyssa was there, completely immersed in her mandatory training. She seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself, although Dylan suspected that may have been more to do with the music she was obviously bobbing along to. Despite that, she did look up as he walked past her, and Dylan once again noticed the pink in her cheeks. "It's obviously some form of makeup. She couldn't possibly be _blushing_ just because I have walked into the room…" Dylan thought furiously to himself. He could faintly smell coconut, and pineapple, and the scent was highly appealing to him. "Someone must have made some form of fruit salad or something for lunch. I'm just hungry." There was no other possible explanation, he told himself.

"Is everything okay, Dr Keogh?" Dylan jumped, spilling water all over the counter. Biting back a curse, he faced Alyssa, who had turned to look at him in concern. The faint hint of a smile ghosted on her lips as she took in the mess he had made. "Yes, everything is fine. Why would you think otherwise?" His fumbling to mop up the water got worse as she cocked her head to one side and studied him. "I'm not sure. You seem… distracted." Not trusting himself to speak, he continued to mop up the water until the surface was bone dry. Alyssa sat thoughtfully for a moment, and despite himself, he looked up at her. Their eyes met, and although her cheeks became pinker, her eyes searched his, looking for his distraction. A second later, her smile faded. "Are you worried about a patient?" How? How had she so easily read his mind?

Giving up on making a drink, he turned to lean against the counter. "How are you feeling?" She looked up at him, the question in her eyes, and he gestured uncomfortably towards her side. "Oh, my rib? It hurts to breathe, but I'll manage. I've suffered worse." She laughed darkly to herself, and for a moment looked away. They were silent for a moment, both lost in thought, before she looked over at him again. Alyssa cleared the seat next to her of her books and notes and motioned for him to sit down. Not knowing how else to respond, Dylan did just that. As soon as he sat down next to her, arm gently brushing hers, she stood and walked to the exact spot he had just been standing. "Tea or coffee?" Dylan looked at her in confusion. "You tell me about your patient, and I will make you a drink, so you don't flood the staff room. As much as I would love that distraction, I can't swim." She smiled again, and Dylan gave a low laugh.

As she busied herself with making his tea, he explained about his predicament with Charlotte. "Something is clearly going on. Dad wants to leave as soon as possible, and the girl won't let me or anyone else anywhere near her. She wouldn't even let me listen to her heart." He was certain something was going on, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. "Okay, Dr Keogh. I believe you." Why did she have to say 'Dr Keogh' like that? All soft, with a hint of breathiness, like it was more than just his name and title, like he was more than just Doctor Dylan Keogh. It made his spine shiver, yet the feeling was not unpleasant. He realised with a jolt that he _liked_ the feeling it gave him. He liked it a great deal.

"What can I do to help?" Alyssa handed him his tea, and he failed to ignore her ringless fingers. Trying to force his mind back to a safe topic, he gestured to her laptop. "Mrs Beauchamp would have my head if I interrupted your training. I will find some way of dealing with it. But… this helped. Talking it through. Thank you." He added the thanks, unable to stop himself. After all, she hadn't _needed_ to help him. "Dr Keogh…" "Dylan. Please." She laughed lightly and nodded. "Okay, _Dylan_. I finished my training an hour ago. Everyone seems busy with some emergency that has come in, so I decided to stay in here until things calmed down, before asking Connie what she would like me to do. I'm here to help, Dr... Dylan. Charlotte may respond better to a woman. And if not, it's always useful to have a second mind to work through a problem, right?" She smiled warmly at him, and he just stared back. Work with her? Dylan's heart thumped madly in his chest. He was surprised she couldn't hear it.

"I suppose there isn't really any other option. Only if you are sure though. I wouldn't want to cause you more pain." He gave her the same stern look he had used when he had tried (and failed) to get her to stay in bed after her injury the day before. "Oh, I am very sure, _Dr Keogh_. I have to thank you somehow for being so lovely to me yesterday." She replicated his stern look, teasingly, and to his surprise, he smiled. Alyssa shut down her laptop, and packed her things away, before turning to him. He drained the last of his tea, ignored the burning of the still hot water in his throat, and moved to her side. "Shall we?" She grinned up at him, and again their eyes met very briefly. Hers were lit up in anticipation of seeing her first official patient. He smiled again, more softly, and gestured out the door. "Ladies first." Her smile grew bigger as she walked from the room.

Dylan watched her from behind for a moment before following. He thought back to the morning before, when he had drank his morning tea watching the sunrise and found her watching him. He had watched her run past his boat almost every morning for a month. He had found her beautiful that very first day he had spotted her. It had been safe, then. He was never going to meet her, speak to her, embarrass himself in front of her. Now, he was going to work alongside her, to get to the bottom of a mystery, which was his favourite thing to do in the ED. The thumping of his heart became a roaring, like an open fire, but the fire did not burn.

Instead, it hovered, just out of reach, ready to engulf him slowly, if he only took that step forward into it. And Dylan knew, that the closer he got to this woman, the more it would consume him, until he would be lost to her.

In that moment, watching her eager smile, the anticipation in her eyes as she waited for him to get Charlotte's notes, Dylan came to a decision that yesterday morning, he would never have believed would be possible. Not just with Alyssa, but indeed, with _any_ woman.

He took a step forward.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"So, what can you tell me about our patient?" Dylan looked up from his 14 year old patient's notes to carefully meet the eyes of Alyssa. Her statement of the patient belonging to both of them had sent shivers down his spine. Unconsciously biting his lip, as he always did out of nervousness, he scanned the notes in front of him, to give himself time to gather his thoughts. "Charlotte is 14 years old, no apparent cardiac history, complaining of shortness of breath, chest pain and tightness. However, I have yet to examine her." Dylan looked up at her again and noticed the blush in her cheeks. Now she was carefully avoiding his gaze, as she took the notes from him to read herself. Or was he just reading into it too much? "Okay. Take me to your patient!" Alyssa kept her eyes downward as he led the way to the cubicle.

Immediately as the two entered the cubicle, Charlotte's father began demanding his daughter be discharged. The girl looked on the verge of tears, and Dylan wondered what could possibly be going on. He stood facing the bed, hands on hips, as he prepared to introduce Alyssa in as gentle a manner as he could, which was no small feat for him, in an attempt to keep the girl calm. Dylan needn't have bothered. As Alyssa entered the cubicle, warm smile on her face, Dylan saw the girl visibly relax. "Hi. My name is Alyssa. Dr Keogh here told me you've been having some trouble with your chest. How are you feeling now?" Her voice was soft, comforting. Just as it had been the previous day when Dylan had watched her talk down a suicidal patient. He silently marvelled at how powerfully gentle her voice was.

The girl nodded, without looking at her Father. Dad began to describe the symptoms, but Alyssa stopped him, just as Dylan had. "I know you want to help, to speed this up, but I really need to hear Charlotte. No-one can describe her feelings better than she can, but I know this must be really difficult and upsetting for both of you. Is there anyone we can call? Mum maybe?". How very diplomatic of her. Empathising with the Dad to placate him, whilst keeping the focus on the girl. Respect for Alyssa began to build. "Uh. No. It's just me and Charlie at home." Dad's tone was sad, sorrowful almost. The mystery deepened. "That's okay. You clearly care very much about your daughter. She is lucky to have you." She smiled at the Dad, making eye contact with him to show that she truly meant it. "So, Charlie. I can call you that if you like, or we can call you Charlotte. Whichever you prefer." Alyssa turned her gaze onto the girl, and Dylan was surprised to see the girl smile slightly. "Charlie is okay." Nodding, Alyssa went to sit on the bed beside her.

"How have you been feeling? I know you told Dr Keogh that you've been having some tightness and chest pain." Alyssa's whole focus was on the girl yet hearing her say 'Dr Keogh' still stopped his heart for a moment. Charlie was telling Alyssa how it had been going on for several weeks, talking more to Alyssa than she had to himself and Robyn combined, but Dylan barely heard her. He was completely transfixed by the woman, the way she smiled and laid a hand on the girl's arm to encourage her to keep talking, the way the light in the cubicle danced in her hair whenever she moved, and he furiously tried to quell the tempest of thoughts that buffeted him from all directions. He'd known the woman 24 hours. How was any of this possible? Why was this happening to him?

"You've done really, really well to tell me all of this, Charlie. Now, what we need to do, is listen to your heart, just to make sure everything is okay, and then we can run a few tests. Nothing to worry about at all, just some really simple, routine things to rule out anything serious. We will need to take some blood as well. I know that all sounds like so much, and it's all very scary, but your Dad can stay with you, as can I, if you'd like?" The girl had grabbed Alyssa's hand somewhere in her explanation, and where Dylan would have felt highly uncomfortable and removed himself as soon as possible, he saw Alyssa give her hand a slight squeeze. Charlie took a deep breath, looked at her Father, and nodded. Squeezing her hand again, Alyssa rose from the bed.

At that moment, Robyn appeared in the cubicle. She smiled a little at Alyssa, who grinned back. "Uhm. Dr Winters. Mrs Beauchamp has asked to see you quickly? I think she just wants to check on your progress with your training." Nodding, Alyssa turned away from Robyn, to look at Charlie, who was looking anxious again. Recognising that as his cue to check her over, Dylan took his stethoscope from around his neck, and moved to the bed. The young girl glanced at Alyssa in panic and clutched her coat tight around her. Dylan sighed. "You realise that without me examining you, we cannot treat you." Dylan's tone held a note of annoyance. He was losing patience, and fast.

Alyssa had been looking at the girl, head to one side, with a very curious expression on her face, when her head snapped up to look at him. She narrowed her eyes, clearly displeased with his tone. For once in his life, Dylan wished he had more compassion for his patients. The girl started crying, and Alyssa's eyes closed in obvious sympathy. "Nurse… Miller, is it?" Robyn looked at Alyssa, and smiled, nodding. "Would you mind telling Mrs Beauchamp that I'm actually with a patient right now, and I'll check in with her in a little while?" She was ignoring _Connie_? Of all the people to ignore… "Dr Winters, if Mrs Beauchamp wishes to see you, it's probably best if you go…" Again, the narrowed eyes. She wasn't quite glaring at him; her eyes were more… calculating. As if she were trying to read his mind. Dylan was fervently glad that she couldn't.

"Patients come first, Dr Keogh." There was a definite hint of something in her tone now. Dylan couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whatever it was, it made Robyn back out of the cubicle to inform Connie that Alyssa was too busy to see her. Dylan briefly wondered how Connie was going to react to this news, when Alyssa strode up to him, and gently took his stethoscope. He was so startled that he instinctively moved back, to make room for Alyssa by the bed. "Charlie, would you feel more comfortable if I checked you over? Your Dad can wait outside, just on the other side of the curtain." Dad made to protest, but Alyssa simply looked at him and the words died in his throat. No glare, no nothing. Dylan almost laughed. Forget medical mysteries; this woman held a much deeper secret. He could feel it. He almost ached with curiosity, to know how this young, quiet woman was able to control people so well, with a simple glance.

Turning his attention back to the bed, Charlie was cautiously removing her coat. She obviously had agreed for Alyssa to examine her, but Dylan became confused. She was a Psychologist, not a medical doctor. Even if she did examine her, he would still likely need to be there in order to make a sufficient diagnosis. As he opened his mouth to mention this, Alyssa closed the curtain, cutting Dad off from his daughter, and she sat beside the girl again. The air in the cubicle became calm and comforting again. Charlie looked up at Dylan, her eyes frightened. "Charlie. I know this must be very scary for you. But I need Dr Keogh to be here whilst I examine you. I am a doctor, but my specialty is mental health. Your chest pain and shortness of breath are physical, and I need Dr Keogh's help to figure out why this is happening." The girl was still crying, silent tears streaming down her face. "You trust me, don't you?" Dylan couldn't see why anyone _wouldn't_ trust her, and her gentle words. Charlie nodded. "Well, I trust Dr Keogh. Which means you can to. Okay?" Her voice became firm, but her words never lost their soothing touch. Dylan's heart skipped a beat at Alyssa's assent of her trusting him. Internally, he shook himself. He was being ridiculous.

Very slowly, Charlie began to take off her coat, revealing her school uniform underneath. Alyssa constantly encouraged her, keeping the girl calm enough for her to slide the stethoscope onto the girl's chest. Dylan watched Alyssa work. Her entire focus was on the patient in front of her. Alyssa went to slide the stethoscope under the school shirt onto the girl's belly, to check for heart sounds from another angle, and her hand brushed the girl's stomach. Immediately, Alyssa withdrew the stethoscope, and the girl's crying worsened. Alarmed, Dylan looked from the patient, to Alyssa, whose face was pained. "Does your Dad know?" Alyssa asked her softly. The girl nodded silently. Alyssa looked up into Dylan's eyes, and somehow, he knew to remove the curtain, and bring Dad back in. Dad went straight to his daughter, tears in his eyes. Dylan knew that Dad knew what Alyssa had found. He, himself, now had a suspicion. It didn't take long for Alyssa to confirm it.

"How long have you been self-harming, Charlie?" Alyssa's voice was quiet, with genuine concern laced through it. Dylan realised with a shock that Alyssa wasn't just a doctor who empathised with her patients. Somehow, he knew she could relate. _That_ was why she was seemingly so good at her job. She hadn't just read about it in some textbook. She _understood_. Dad answered the question. "Ever since her Mother…. went away. About a year or so now. Things have been… difficult. For both of us." Dad choked back a sob, and placed an arm around his daughter, who buried herself into him. "Charlie. I need to see your belly. I need to know how deep your cuts are." Alyssa's voice did not tremble, but Dylan could feel the sadness in her tone. It was obvious to see how much she cared for her patients. Very slowly, Charlie unbuttoned the bottom buttons of her shirt, and pushed the fabric away, hands shaking. This time, it was Dylan who closed his eyes. Angry red slashed across the girl's skin, crisscrossed by lines of faded, healed, _scarred_ , pink. The wounds showed that this had been going on for quite some time, and not all of the cuts were superficial.

Alyssa once again looked up at Dylan, and he read her gaze. "None of these are infected, which is a good thing. You've been keeping them clean. Some of these, they may. Scar. Permanently." Dylan's voice trailed off. He was no good at dealing with situations like this. Self-harm needed careful, gentle, treatment. His brusque, blunt manner had no place here. He looked over at Alyssa. Her eyes were fixed on the young girl in front of her, cuts exposed, and her face was a picture of determination. Dylan was suddenly very glad that Alyssa was here. It was clear that she was used to seeing such a shocking thing. "Am I… going to go away?" The young girl's voice shook, and Dylan became confused. What an odd thing to ask. Dad was crying now also, and Dylan's confusion deepened. What had happened to this family? "I don't understand. Why would you go away?" Dylan couldn't help himself. He needed to know. Alyssa looked at him again, her eyes pleading. She shook her head minutely. Dylan snapped his mouth shut.

"Charlie's mother she… She was unwell. She used to… hurt herself. When she got bad. It took a while, but she was eventually diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. My wife had her good days, as well as her bad days. Her diagnosis made her worse. She was constantly panicking about whether she was a good Mother to Charlie, and it all got too much and one day she…" Dad's voice broke, and he choked on a sob. Alyssa laid a gentle hand on his arm, and he continued. "She… she took a load of pills. They… they sent her away. So, she could get better." Realisation suddenly dawned on Dylan, and an unexpected wave of sympathy engulfed him. "You believe you will have to go away, like your Mum." Dylan stated the fact, in a quiet voice. Charlie's whole body was now shaking, as she nodded. "Mum's not the same anymore. She's. Different. But that doesn't make her any less of a Mother. it doesn't mean she loves me any less. She's not crazy! And neither am I!" The girl's voice had risen, defiance colouring it, and Dylan raised his hands, to show he had not meant any harm.

"You aren't going anywhere, Charlie. You have my word on that." Alyssa's words were soft, and she gestured for the two of them to exit the cubicle. She briefly explained that she was going to give them both a few minutes and check in on them in a little while. She convinced the girl to consent to a blood test and vowed to come back herself when she got the results. Dylan followed Alyssa to the staff room. Silently, she made them both a drink, and leaned back against the counter, deep in thought. Not wanting to disturb her, Dylan took his drink, and quietly waited for her to speak.

He had finished his cup, and still she had not said a word. Concerned, he decided to try to engage her. "What's your hypothesis? About her physical symptoms, I mean." Alyssa looked up from her untouched mug and sighed. She moved to sit beside him on the sofa before answering. "I'd say that the chest pain and tightness more than likely correspond with her self-harming. My best guess is she visits her mother, remembers that they both self-harm, suffers a panic attack at the thought of going down the same path, and then cuts herself as a way to deal with the panic. It's a vicious cycle for her, and she is lost. She has no idea how to break it. Which leads to her panicking more often and experiencing the pain and tightness more often."

Without thinking, Dylan rested his hand on Alyssa's. His mind warned against the physical contact, but he felt an inexplicable need to comfort her, to tell her the girl would be alright, that she was lucky because Alyssa was here to help her. He just couldn't find the words. So, instead, he kept his hand gently on hers, hoping she would understand. She did not move her hand away, and instead looked up at him, eyes faintly glistening with unshed tears. "She's so young and has gone through so much. No one should ever feel this way, regardless of age, but especially not a child. It isn't fair." Alyssa's voice was a whisper, and Dylan felt lost. He wanted to make her feel better. He wanted to make all of it better. But he simply couldn't see how. His hand tightened involuntarily as he struggled to think of something comforting to say, and his palm tingled as she squeezed back.

A cry erupted from the ED, and both Alyssa and Dylan stood up at the same time. The cry had come from the general vicinity of Charlie's cubicle. As one, they walked out of the staff room, to see Connie stood with Robyn, Charlie's notes in hand, trying to calm down both Charlie and her Father, who were both crying uncontrollably. Dylan became very aware that he was still holding Alyssa's hand when he felt her body go rigid. He stole a glance at her and dropped her hand. Her eyes were a storm, concern for her patient contorting her usually gentle expression. Moving with deliberation, she stalked over to the cubicle, putting herself between Charlie and Mrs Beauchamp. Dylan stood to the side and watched. "What is going on?" Alyssa's voice had that odd ring to it again, not angry, but also without its usual gentle tone. Her voice remained quiet. "As I could not find Dr Keogh, and we need the bed, I took it upon myself as Clinical Lead to assess this patient. There are clear signs of a mental disorder here, and given the family history, I have arranged for her to be sent upstairs, where she will be assessed by a Psychiatrist." Charlie sobbed harder, and Alyssa's eyes became darker. "You did _what_?" Alyssa's voice had become quieter, and somehow more dangerous. Connie seemed to sense this and began to explain that some Doctor upstairs had agreed to speak with the patient, to determine whether Charlie would need to be seen elsewhere.

Holding up a hand, Alyssa silenced the Clinical Lead, for the second time in 2 days. The air practically sparked with electricity as she took a step forward, towards Connie. "And when were you going to consult Dr Keogh on this? More importantly," she continued, ignoring Connie as she made to answer her "when were you going to consult _me_?" Now Connie had a dangerous look on her face. Robyn stepped away, and Dylan took another step towards his patient, and Alyssa. Dr Winters had no idea who she was messing with here. "Why exactly would I do that? Dr Keogh is the lead for this patient. Not you. _You_ are supposed to be training only today." Connie had drawn herself up to her full height, a move that usually struck fear into most people. Alyssa, however, was not most people, and as her eyes narrowed, Dylan had the strange sense that she was actually _more_ intimidating than the Clinical Lead.

"Why? Because you hired me to be your lead on Mental Health. With all due respect, you may be a doctor, as is Dr Keogh, but neither one of you has the experience I have with mental health. You have absolutely no right, nor the qualification in fact, to determine whether this patient has a mental health disorder." Connie's mouth fell open, incredulous that the new girl was undermining her so publicly. Dylan knew his expression of shock must have looked similar. The most incredible thing was whilst Connie had raised her voice, and laced it with authority, Alyssa's had remained quiet. And that had had much more of an impact. Again, Dylan felt that curiosity burn. He wanted to know how her mind worked. He _needed_ to know her better.

"You may very well be the Clinical Lead, but Mrs Beauchamp, I am a Psychologist. More than that, I am an advocate for any patient with a _suspected_ mental illness. If I am not to be consulted when something like this happens, then I am of no use to you or this Department." Alyssa's chin raised, her first real sign of defiance. "Well then, _Dr Winters_. What do you propose we do with this patient? Are you willing to be responsible for telling the next patient who walks through the door that we have no spare bed because of this?" Connie folded her arms, apparently assuming she had managed to catch Alyssa out. "I suggest that we discharge Charlie." Dylan raised an eyebrow, and both Charlie and her Father looked at her in shock. "Discharge her? You've seen her stomach, she's clearly a risk to herself." Alyssa refused to budge.

"Actually, quite the contrary. Charlie is, indeed, suffering from low mood, with depression. That is not an indicator of anything more severe. It certainly does not warrant hospital treatment. Charlie has suffered a tremendous upheaval in her life. What she needs is a safe space to talk about how that makes her feel. Perhaps a short bout of therapy. But that can all be organised by the Children's Mental Health Team." Alyssa turned to her patient and smiled at her. "You're not crazy, Charlie. Things seem difficult, and hard right now, but it won't always be like this. You will get better. And so will your Mum. If you and your Dad agree, I'll make a referral to your local CAMHS. They should be able to support you and help you through this." She turned to face Connie, who's posture had become defeated. "Dr Keogh can organise the discharge papers for Charlie, whilst I make the referral. You'll have your bed soon enough." And with that, Alyssa strode off, without a backwards glance. Connie looked dangerously close to following her, but instead chose to shut herself in her office.

About an hour later, Dylan had organised Charlie's discharge, and instructed the Dad on what to do if she began to feel breathless or experienced any more chest pain. He shook Dad's hand awkwardly, as the man thanked him for all his help. He tried to explain that, really, he hadn't done anything, but eventually said an uncomfortable "you're welcome" before returning back to the nurse's station in the middle of the ED. He watched as Alyssa went over to the family, phone call referral to the CAMHS team complete. She seemed more like her usual self again, light dancing in her eyes, as she accepted the family's gratitude much more graciously than he had. As the family left, she looked across the ED, and met his eyes. Dylan made to turn away, embarrassed that she had caught him staring at her, when she smiled. He knew she was thanking him, and oddly this did not make him uncomfortable. In fact, he smiled back, without hesitating, and nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

"Well, the new girl certainly knows how to make waves, doesn't she!" Dylan turned to face Ethan. He shrugged slightly, unsure how to respond, but Ethan left before he had to. He pondered the choice of words. Dylan reflected how, earlier that day, he had had the notion of Alyssa being a flame, a flame that would consume him if he got too close. Her complete devotion to her patients, to the point of actively defying her senior, had shown something different. He had thought her beautiful, like a candle flame. Today had shown that she was, in fact, an ocean. Deep, full of mystery waiting to be discovered, if only some brave soul dared to dive in. An ocean that could calm even the most anxious of minds but could rise in a tempest to defend and protect.

Dylan had made a decision earlier that day, to step forward to caress her flames. Instead, his curiosity, his uncontrollable desire, was pulling him closer and closer to her, and he was being swept up in her tides. Burns heal. Had she remained a distant fire, Dylan knew that there would have been a chance of escape. But now, after working closely with her, after having the small insight into her mind. Feeling the tiny sparks of lightning as she squeezed his hand. Dylan knew there would be no escaping the hurricane.


End file.
